Inside the Maze by Mark Ford

"There must be some way out of here,” said the joker to the thief.

“There’s so much confusion now, I can’t get no relief.”

 Bob Dylan, All Along the Watchtower

He hides in the dead ends and corners of the maze. He drifts down, a sickly miasma, Angel of Death. COVID-19 lurking, waiting. Waiting for me to make a false move.  Keep moving, keep moving, I can’t let him catch me. Where is the door? There must be some way out of here. 

On the maze of sidewalks, people approach wearing surgical masks, eyes looking out, cautious, fearful. No greetings, no smiles. The masks are mostly black or white. Some are colorful, one has large teeth where a mouth should be. Day of the Dead? I feel a chill. People move away. They leave a wide berth. Not everyone has a mask. Those who don’t sometimes walk very close as they pass. I can smell them. College girls with perfume. Grumpy men with bad cologne. Danger, danger, I try to avoid these people. Homeless men with dirty jeans and backpacks don’t crowd. Masks pulled up; they are used to keeping their distance. 

In the forest, out among the pines, there is someone without a mask, a yellow dog pulling her forward. She sees me and stops. She pulls up her mask and walks forward. Both of us leave the path to avoid each other. She passes quickly. The dog looks back.

On the golf course we social distance. One at a time on the tee. One at a time on the green. No rakes in the bunkers, don’t touch the flagpoles, whatever you do, don’t shake hands. Etiquette is gone. I pull up my mask and go to the sterilized clubhouse, then home to a Zoom meeting.

Zoom. Zoom has taken over everything. People without masks staring back from computer screens waiting their turn to talk. Who are these people? Some I know, most I have seen only inside the computer. I think they are real. How can I be sure? They talk back. A.I. talks back. Where am I? Is that really me in the box on the Zoom screen? Zoom is safe.

Pods are safe. Pods are everything. Who is in your pod? Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa. We’re all very careful. We shop correctly. Curbside pickup. No going in stores. We used to go in stores with arrows on the floor telling us which way to go. Too dangerous now. People might breathe on us or touch the food we eat. 

Are we doing everything right? I think we do it to protect the kids. Kids? Kids don’t get sick. Or do they? Maybe we do it for Grandma and Grandpa. Sometimes Kylie cheats. Can we kick her out? Out into the cold where she has only Zoom friends. No, she’s a little sister. We just worry. 

Kids Zoom to school. Distracted kindergarteners, eyes wandering around a room the teacher can’t see. They seek approval. Teacher affirms through the computer screen. The child wants more. The child is distracted again. Some kids learn by touch – no touching in Zoom school.

The high school kids pretend to watch the teacher, texting on cell phones held just below the laptop camera. Do they eye each other through the Zoom? Virtual dates? Virtual longing. Virtual loneliness.

Who’s watching? Who’s checking? Someone must be watching, monitoring. Do they use A.I. to make sure we do things right? Do they know if I cheat? 

Cash is good for cheating. On the paper money, it says, “Legal tender for all debts, public and private.” Some places won’t take it now. Mario’s Taco Drive-Up takes cash. The liquor store takes cash. Liquor stores are important. Who is watching? Is COVID real?

People die from COVID-19. People I know – knew when they were alive. It must be real. I’m sure it’s real. What if I get sick? I heard it was like the flu. But Gary had a ventilator tube put down his throat. People on ventilators don’t recover – most don’t. Gary recovered. He said he wanted to die but he couldn’t talk. He couldn’t tell anyone to let him die. Merciful Angel of Death didn’t show up. He’s glad now.

So I wear a mask, don’t go in crowded stores, social distance, don’t go to gatherings – especially indoor gatherings. Politics, politics. If I were a far-right conservative, I would know the whole thing is a hoax. I wouldn’t have to wear a mask, I wouldn’t have to follow rules. But I’m a liberal so I follow the rules. Who is watching? 

Vaccine? Is vaccine the way out of the maze, the way past the angel? Will it work? Where do I find it? Is this a trick? 

There must be some way out of here.